One of the biggest dangers of snoring is that it can destroy your relationship. Whether you’ve just moved in together or you have been married for years, snoring can drive a wedge between two people who are otherwise deeply in love.

But it doesn’t have to. Here are some tips for keeping snoring from destroying your relationship.

Man sits on the side of the bed while wife sits in the background during an argument.

Talk It Out in the Light of Day

When snoring is keeping you up at night, you might feel like you have to say something right then and there. The temptation is very strong: you’re not sleeping so you’re feeling cranky, and you’re spoiling for a fight.

But that’s exactly the problem. When people have confrontations about snoring in the middle of the night, they’re more likely to escalate dangerously. This is when the worst snoring-related violence occurs, including beatings, stabbings, and shootings.

If your partner is snoring, do what you have to do to get as much sleep as you can that night. But don’t talk to your partner about it at this time. Instead, bring it up sometime during the day when you are both in better shape to address the issue.

“It’s not you, it’s the snoring.”

Remember to avoid getting accusational during conversations about snoring. We know this can be hard–they are the one who is snoring. But remember, snoring isn’t something they are choosing to do. They aren’t snoring just to hurt you, it’s something they don’t have any control over.

Know How Snoring Impacts You Both

Sometimes, it’s easier to avoid accusational conversations if you understand that snoring is probably hurting them as much as or more than it’s hurting you.

We know: when their snoring wakes you up, it looks like they’re sleeping peacefully. Trust us, they aren’t. Snoring is a sign that they’re not getting enough oxygen when they breathe. They are getting low-quality sleep when they snore. And they may even be suffering from sleep apnea, where their breathing stops completely and they have to wake up to start breathing again, possibly hundreds of times a night, even if neither of you are aware they’re waking up.

And because the snorer isn’t sleeping well, they are sleep-deprived, too, which means their temper may be just as short as yours. And they may not mean the things they say during conversations–that can be the lack of sleep talking.

Focus on Controlling Snoring

There are many potential solutions to the sleeping problem (earplugs, moving to a different room, white noise generators), but you should really keep focused on the snoring problem. Remember: snoring is a health hazard, potentially a deadly one. The problem isn’t really solved until you have snoring under control.

Fortunately, there are many simple things you can try at home to control snoring. In some cases, minor lifestyle changes can make a big difference. Do avoid over-the-counter sleeping treatments, as these can actually do more harm than good.

And if you’re the snorer, understand that not treating snoring sends a bad message to your partner.

Seek Professional Help

However, don’t give up if at-home solutions don’t achieve the results you want. Instead, remember that professional snoring solutions are available–and effective.

If a relationship is worth saving, it’s worth investing in care. Besides, snoring treatment can benefit your health, and it may even pay for itself in a reduction of related healthcare costs.

Make Sure You’re Both Happy with the Solution

Some snoring solutions–such as sleeping in a different room–can themselves be a problem. In that case, the solution doesn’t end the conflict, it just changes the type of conflict. The new conflict over snoring can flare up at any time.

Let Us Help

At the Michigan Center for TMJ & Sleep Wellness, we’ve helped many people control their snoring–and save their relationships. If snoring is threatening your relationship, please call (248) 480-0085 today for an appointment with Detroit sleep dentist Dr. Jeffrey S. Haddad at the Michigan Center for TMJ & Sleep Wellness in Troy.